A couple weeks ago, I had a moment – which resulted in deleting all my previous posts on this blog. I’m still sort of unsure what that moment was exactly about, but since then I’ve tried re-writing this post about three times – to no avail – until tonight, hopefully.
Let’s start with going back to October of 2010, when my second son was born. Since then, I’ve been incredibly busy taking photographs – more than I imagined I would be (personally and as a business). And in just a couple of months, I will be returning to work full-time. I think this is the first reason that for the past little while I’ve been having an internal battle with myself and having a hard time deciding where I am and where I want to be with my photography.
While I love portrait photography, my first love is photojournalism – maybe that’s why I really love weddings – they offer the best of both worlds. As of this very moment, I certainly plan on returning to work full-time as a journalist. But, I need to also figure out where photography as a side business will fit into my life.
With many things I do, I often question myself, my abilities, and my worth. I feel a huge vulnerability with my photography, and I suppose insecurity – and, if anything, I hope these feelings can push me to become better as time goes on. This is one of a few reasons I struggle with figuring out where photography fits into my life – and how much of my life I will allow it to consume.
Over the past 6 months, I’ve had to opportunity to meet a number of wonderful clients – and I hope that they love the photographs I have taken for them. After each session, I’ve received great compliments from clients - and that I do appreciate – it helps with the insecurities a bit.
At times, I talk a big game, but in the end, I am a people-pleaser, which is another reason I’ve been struggling lately. Recently, I became so busy I had to reevalute my pricing and essentially – my worth as a photographer. I have increased my prices for all new sessions and orders – setting prices is certainly a juggling act. And, for the time being, I hope that my new prices can offer a service that is worthwhile for both my clients and myself. I do feel that I may need to slow down – staying up until 1 a.m. editing photo every night isn’t a habit I’m willing to adopt for life!
Being professional is what my “moment” comes down to – I struggle with calling myself a professional, I struggle with seeing my photographs as professional, and I look at my work often and wonder what I could do different and do better (and this blog happened to be one of those things). I’m going to work at feeling “professional” – although I am really, truly, absolutely, uncertain what that word entails in the world of photography since it gets thrown around so much.
Are you a professional just because you get paid? I think there are certainly photographers in the world who have been paid but might not be what one would consider professional.
Are you a professional when you get a certain level of experience? I’ve seen recent photographs taken by long-time photographers that make me cringe a little because they look like they were taken right out of the 80s.
Are you a professional because you have a logo, business cards, and a marketing strategy, but little experience and a portfolio filled with photos of your own family? I don’t know.
The answers to any of these questions can be yes (in the right circumstances) and they can be no (in the right cirumstances). I’ve been taking payment for photos for 4 wedding seasons (yes – that is now how I count years and remember key events – maybe THAT is what makes someone a professional!?) and I still struggle with answering yes to the first and second question.
I have business cards, something of a logo (I prefer simple and fewer frills in a logo), but I will freely admit I struggle with the business side of things. I’ve been offered resources from fellow photographers to help with this – but I hesitate – why? Not quite sure. My portfolio also still contains some photos of my own boys – but it doesn’t have to – they’re just the cutest boys in the world and part of my life in every aspect and I chose to include them in every aspect of my life.
Anyways, this post is now MUCH longer than I anticipated it would be. If you’ve read this far – thank you! I know as a journalist that most people probably didn’t get past the first few paragraphs, so kudos to you! Thanks for letting me vent, and here is a photo of what I’m currently working on – Lana and Poncho’s wonderful wedding.
- First wedding of the 2011 season!
First wedding of the 2011 season!
